Relationships are the testing grounds for humility. Life and ministry involve people, and I believe relationships are the toughest grooming grounds for humility. Humility is not a gift of the Spirit but a fruit that must be developed.
We develop humility in relationships by recognizing that we are created by one creator who made us unique but expects us to get along with each other here on earth. We can get along by recognizing each other’s strengths and supporting one another in our areas of weakness. This means that humility is not comparing our achievements or strengths against each other.
On the other hand, humbling ourselves to another also means accepting that the other person is actually good at what they do and is better suited to do what needs to be done. This is the highest level of humility in relationships when we are confident in our abilities but able to submit to others who are better than us. When building a team, it’s vital to foster this because an individual who wants to do everything will eventually burn out while hindering others from the opportunity to use their talents. We should be able to give up control or micromanagement for the more significant objectives we want to achieve—allowing those better or qualified for the job to curb insecurity, competition, jealousy, and tension. Be concerned with anyone who wants to be in everything. Philippians 2:3-4 warns; don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.
Humbling ourselves before one another requires honoring everyone, despite the differences that we may have. Honoring a person does not mean agreeing with what they do or say but permitting them to express their opinions without judging or disrespecting them. For example, as adult children, we may not always agree with our parents, but we should still honor them. We may not agree with our bosses or pastors at work or church, but we should still honor them. Spouses may disagree on issues but should still honor one another. So, humbling ourselves does not mean we allow ourselves to be pushed over or stumped upon, but being confident in who we are and speaking up respectfully. Conflict should be addressed constructively. We can agree to disagree. Ephesians 5:21 admonishes us to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Lastly, when we are in charge of something that belongs to someone else, it’s important to exercise restraint and be humble. We have a responsibility to consider the interests of others, especially when they entrust us with their possessions, property, businesses, jobs, or ministries. This is especially important in a leader-staff relationship. Humility and honor should always go hand-in-hand. It’s not wise to speak badly about or sabotage the person you are reporting to, no matter how much you stand to gain from their position or potential promotion. It’s important to remember that promotions come from God (Psalms 75:6-7).